Blood sugar

Can you give me something new? Can you tell me anything that will make me drop my mouth open even if it is just for a matter of seconds?
I find myself wondering what's this life i'm living? what am i doing if now i don't get really happy with anything for more than a minute or two? And when i do...so shallow... such an emptiness...
Today i woke up late, lost the bus, lost the train, saw people i didn't want to see, couldn't even buy myself a chocolat!! Had one of thoses days... everyone has them, right?
A couple of hours ago someone told me i have a beautiful smile, i'm sorry that person didn't get to see the real one, then it was just a fake... though i guess nowadays everything's a fake so people might as well get used to it...
At times, a new challenge, the adrenaline of something new, that fun... and then, it's gone as it always is.
The night is so cold... i feel colder everyday... i realize i get into auto-pilot sometimes: let's hear some music, a few smiles, some 'yes'' and 'nos'... another day has gone by and i keep waiting for this year to end, for this chapter to finally close so i can start living the life i want far from here... everything seems so far yet and now, i need to feel something, 'cause even my feelings tend to be remembrances of passed times. I need to stop feeling good only when i don't have to think, i have to stop looking forward for that day of the week when i can forget everything, that's not the life i want... i really need something new.